I almost lost my cool on a lady a few weeks ago. I’ve been dying to share this story with you. Settle in, grab some tea or coffee and hang with me for a moment.
A little backstory.
For almost three weeks in November, Wyatt and I were visiting extended family. Wyatt doesn’t travel well, but I was hoping this time would be different.
Unfortunately, it wasn’t. He turned into a different kid. Super clingy and whining all.the.time.
Soon after arriving, he started cutting his canine teeth and was only sleeping 1-2 hours at a time at night. It was super rough, and not having Zac with me made it even harder.
During the days, I’d attempt to sit down with my laptop to get some work done, but there was always something getting in the way. I was feeling more and more behind and so depleted.
The trip was an emotional rollercoaster. I wished I’d never committed to staying so long.
I cried in the shower a lot.
I often turned to the food and wine to help me feel better… As you know that didn’t help anything.
When I finally arrived home, I couldn’t have been happier.
I get to sleep in my bed, I get back into my routine, and best of all, I get my happy child back!
Well, the Universe had a different plan for me…
Two days later, I got a heart-wrenching call that my cousin overdosed and died.
(This is a picture of me and my cousin from back in the day — we were really close.)
I was in complete shock. Within a day, I had to buy a plane ticket, cancel everything work-related, do all my laundry, and repack.
I cried for many different reasons that day.
It was a lot to handle. We were stressed and our immune systems compromised, so we both got sick while we were away.
We did get to spend a lot of quality time with family members that we don’t see often which was great… But I was more depleted than ever as I was driving back to the airport to go home.
I was exhausted and full of anxiety because traveling with a toddler is HARD! I was anticipating the worst.
Picture this: Wyatt and I sick and snotty walking through the airport. He’s strapped to my back, a backpack on my front, a suitcase in one hand, and the car seat in the other.
I felt like a badass arriving with all this stuff. I even got a “Way to go, Mom!” from a man walking by… But this time I was so tired.
I didn’t want to be a badass. I just wanted to fall over and cry on the airport floor.
I walked onto the plane. It was packed.
“Ugh. This sucks.” I thought to myself.
We squeezed into our seat and Wyatt, probably feeding off of my anxiety, started being a little ornery. He started fidgeting with the stuff in the seat in front of us, talking loudly and being a bit crazy.
The woman in front of us was so rude. She quickly turned around and yelled at us. I apologized for my toddler, who was acting like a typical toddler, but more than anything…
I was furious.
😡😡😡
“Does she NOT know any toddlers? I mean this is how they are.”
“If she didn’t want to deal with this, she should’ve gotten premium seating!”
“Gosh! Can’t she have some freaking compassion? This isn’t easy for me!”
I got Wyatt settled down with an episode of Elmo.
As we were sitting there waiting for the plane to take off, I felt a cough creep up my throat.
“Oh no. My biggest nightmare is about to come true.” I thought… A coughing fit on an airplane.
I know how uncomfortable it makes people, and I hate to be “that sick person on a plane.”
Well as you know, you can’t hold a cough in. Before I knew it, I was coughing up a storm in a jam-packed plane.
The woman in front of me started huffing and puffing. Her child-like freakout continued.
She looked over at the person next to her and said loud enough for me to hear, “Ugh. I can’t stand all that the coughing. Really?!?” Then she started rustling around in her chair as if spiders were crawling up her back.
At that point, my body was full of anxiety and stress.
I couldn’t believe she could be so heartless. I was obviously struggling, and all she could think about was herself.
“If only she knew my story and all I’ve been through. How I wished I wasn’t on this plane, sick and coughing. But my cousin overdosed and passed away. I needed closure.” I thought about what I’d say to this woman, as tears started welling up in my eyes.
All I wanted to do is grab the free bag of chocolate chip cookies we got on our last flight…
But it was all the way under the seat.
Then the engine started, and I caught a glimpse of her face. She pressed her forehead on the window, closed her eyes, gripped the armrest and held her breath.
Ah. I got it.
A feeling of compassion swept across my body. It washed away the intense feelings of anxiety I’d felt moments before.
She’s afraid of flying. Her anxiety is getting the best of her, too.
I felt for her. I’ve never been afraid of flying but can see how it can be a terrifying experience.
After we took off everything smoothed out. It wasn’t perfect, but we all relaxed which made the rest of the flight manageable.
(This picture is of us around that time.)
I’m telling you this story because you’re going to interact with MANY people on edge over the next three weeks; standing in line, on the road, at work, shopping, and at holiday parties.
Remember this:
1 – Don’t make assumtions.
People will be rude. They’ll cut you off. They’ll lose their cool. They’ll be flat out assholes. But don’t assume they are just doing it to be a douche bag.
2 – You don’t know their story.
What you don’t see, is what’s going on deep down inside.
They could’ve just found out that they’re losing their job at the beginning of the year.
Or maybe they’re full of emotion because they’re seeing their mom soon, who continually makes them feel inadequate.
Or perhaps they just had a miscarriage.
Or just realized that they don’t have enough money to buy their children any presents.
You just don’t know.
and 3 – Lead with compassion
All you can do, while you’re navigating this stressful season, is lead with compassion. For those around you, and for yourself as well and I guarentee this will change everything about this holiday season.
With love,
Nichole