Allison

“Remembering or not just realizing how shameful I felt around food and around my mother and I would sneak it and I was always told that I was doing something wrong.

But as you know for me, you know, a lot of what my relationship with food is having to do with my weight loss from 10 years ago, but, you know ten years ago lost a hundred forty pounds, but prior to that in high school and college I gained over a hundred pounds, so I use food as just kind of a source of comfort kind of a way to sneak it as a way for me to in a lot of ways control control my own life control my mother telling me what to do or not do.

So when I when I got to a point when I did lose weight and that again 10 years ago in August of 2005 kind of became more big realization of what I was putting in my body because I just didn’t realize What I was doing I could have I was thinking throughout the week.

I could have gone to a fast food restaurant several times are few times in a day and not even realize kind of what I was doing and so put no thought into myself. No thought into what I was eating and then that completely shifted after I did lose weight.

So it took a year and a half to lose that a hundred forty pounds and then something kind of completely shifted where I went the opposite direction where I kind of was working out six days a week and I could do all the things I couldn’t do.

Before there’s time. There’s a multiple sports teams hiking the ton of mountains and just really honestly became little bit exercise as a big form of Yeah doing a big source of just like an obsession.

I guess you could say and didn’t feel anything and I was worried about gaining weight was afraid of food and I remember telling my grandma I’m after I lost weight. I was afraid to eat a cookie because I just hadn’t done that in the year and a half and so just a lot of fear based on that and just over the course of a few years amongst that just seeing my body after losing so much weight just a lot of Shame around that and very unattractive and and felt like no one would ever find me attractive and so, you know use exercise and you use calorie counting was a big big calorie counter there several times, you know that I go periods would have Excel spreadsheet counting calories to protein to carbs to exercise and you know, send me a spreadsheet but you told me we were on one of our very first coaching calls and you told me how much grams of protein you were having per meal.

I remember a couple months of working with you one-on-one. I emailed you and asked you and I remember a coaching call this past week. I listened to recording and you’re talking to someone you about it. And I remember just even a couple months in still not very much in that mode. Yeah. It’s a hard concept to get you know, if it is a hard and I get that.

I mean, I think everything and some aspects of change internally just the way I view myself I very much in the beginning of working together.

I feel very disappointed in myself certainly leading up to that but very very mad at myself for disappointed and I would show that and nothing ever felt like I was doing right I think because I wasn’t, you know, I could always be doing different or better. I could be fixing my body better and things like that. And so as far as being kinder to myself, there’s not a lot of rules. It’s very listening to my body using my intuition that you know, as you say that’s where you have the answers.

And so if you think about having another diet book or having another, you know reading another book on all the stuff you really don’t because we as you teach us, we we do have the answers and I do and so that’s when I can eat. That’s I know when I What I need to eat and so there’s a very it’s very freeing in that and not little rules in that and so yeah, I mean every every aspect has changed myself. I don’t feel very comfortable my own body and a lot of a lot of internal changes have happened in relationships either things the way I see my my friends, you know with a significant other and all those aspects so right Awesome. Yeah, and I just want to highlight like with with Alison.

Um if Alisson and I who had very strong I want to say like honestly like neural Pathways like our minds were like food is calories bam. That’s it. Like that’s how we were wired exercise is calorie. That’s it. It’s just something like we were very hardcore what I call Visionaries if you’ve taken my Wildly Alive Quiz on my main site and so if Allison and I can find this thing called intuitive eating and intuitive movement if we can get it.

I feel like anyone can get it because I was hell-bent. I mean like this is you lose weight through calories in calories out. And how do I even listen to my body what this has answers what you know, like if we can do it that and watching Allison’s transformation and I say transformation and I don’t mean like whoa, look at this before and after. That’s her inner transformation.

And her outer transformation has been an incredible thing to witness to watch her come to a place of true self love for her body and you know, like it’s and she’s just so happy now and and I when we first started working together, I just kept on talking to her about freedom. I was like, I understand that like you’re basically at the weight that you want right now and and I’m like, but you’re exercising like a freak and you are eating like You know, your food is your relationship with food is food. I mean say this to her but I just kept on saying I want you to feel free to I don’t want you to have to think about that every day. I want you to feel freedom and I don’t think she could grasp that word to its Essence.

Right Allison from at that moment. I think it was hard for you to understand like what is that possible like you just you can’t you cannot think about this and still be healthy.

I would honestly say it’s life-changing and for me, it’s completely changed all aspects as my mind my body, you know just spiritually just all aspects. These are you know, when I look back on, you know and holding onto these things for a couple decades. It’s I mean, it’s truly amazing to for me to really look at and think about and I mean there’s there’s there are no words for me to even share. You know my thankfulness or it’s there’s no words for it. And so it has been a total God sent for me. And so it is it truly has been amazing for me.“