Creating the life you want and dealing with judgment

Zac and I always knew parenthood would be a wild adventure. What we didn’t realize is that the adventure would start from the moment we got pregnant.

There are SO MANY big decisions when it comes to bringing a child into this world.

Doctor? Midwife? Home birth? Hospital birth? Natural? Epidural? Names? Vaccinations? Day care? Nanny? Stay home? And I know there are many more to come.

And since I’ve never been a person who just follows the crowd and asks A LOT of questions, I knew we had our work cut out for us.

I’m proud to be a woman who constantly questions the status quo and pushes the envelope. Because of this, I know that every single question and decision that lies ahead, is going to take time and patience. These questions call for research, reflection, and ultimately listening inward to what my gut says is the best answer for Zac, myself and our children.

I thought it would be great to see what other people have to say, what they did and why… but I quickly realized that wasn’t the best approach.

I wasn’t ready for such strong and stern opinions.

Don’t get me wrong, I think having an opinion is very important. I teach my clients how to form their own about important issues and stand confidently in their truth, but I also believe that there is no cookie cutter answer for everyone, and agreeing to disagree is a beautiful thing. 🙂

So many people are quick to tell you what you should or should not do, and all too often this is followed by judgement if you don’t agree (that’s the part that really sucks and makes these decisions even tougher).

Finding neutral third party opinions – those people who see both sides and accept your decision either way is all too rare in today’s world… and that’s what I crave. It’s what I think most of us crave. I know those people are out there (I am one of them), but I just wish there were more of us and that they were easier to find!

How cool would it be to walk into a coffee shop or parenting class where you knew everyone practiced compassion over judgement, curiosity over separation, and open-mindedness over one answer for all?

Why can’t we all just be okay with others living their best life (however that looks for them) and you living yours (however that looks for you, even if it’s the total opposite)?

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been just as guilty of judging others as the next gal. My mom always called me “Miss Know It All” and “Bossy Pants,” but I’ve been working really hard to check my ego at the door and try to accept people *as they are* regardless as to whether I agree or disagree with their choices.

That’s their journey, and I have to trust that it’s the life they were meant to live.

When you’re judging another, it’s a beautiful opportunity to look inward and see how *you* can grow and learn from that experience.

How can you open your heart and be more accepting? How can you practice compassion?

Maybe even go deeper and see how this may be a mirror for you — are you judging yourself?

Don’t forget ›› To each his own.

And when you’re the one being judged take a deep breath, shake it off, forgive them and keep rocking your life how YOU desire.

(I’m working on this one a lot right now too.)

 

Love you!
Nichole

 

P.S. Last week I had a major-freakout-meltdown-moment because we decided to have a home birth (which we’re SO excited about) but I was starting to feel the anxiety increase because of the fear of being judged.

Then, I so beautifully ran into this video. It was exactly what I needed. Thank you Universe <3

If you’ve ever felt judged (mom or not) I would highly encourage you to watch this video. You’ll be moved to tears and your heart with crack open a bit. Guaranteed 🙂

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