Have you ever felt like you just want to run away from the holidays (and the world we live in)?

Me too… but probably not in the way you think.

Let me explain.

Last weekend Zac and I were in the city visiting family for the holidays. While we were there we wanted to buy Wyatt a toy truck (it’s his newest obsession).

As usual, we ran out of time and ended up at Target. As I walked in the door, it took everything in me not to run like hell out of that place!

The holiday stress was taking over.

For some reason, it was just too much for me to take in that day — All the people, the bright fluorescent lights, the flashy ads, and the endless amount of stuff they were trying to sell you.

“This is so far from the life I want to live,” I said to myself as I walked in.

Don’t get me wrong, I love me some Target, but it’s what Target represented for me at that moment.

I don’t want my kids playing with nosy plastic toys that aren’t really teaching what I believe is important. I want my kids playing in the trees with their imaginary friends, catching bugs by the creek, and building forts.

I don’t want my kids thinking all of these *things* are what’s important in life, or that all those things dictate their value and self-worth.

I want them to know how to find their happiness, despite how many followers they have, the kind of car they drive, the fancy gadget they own, or the letters after their name.

But this is really hard to do when we live in a society that’s constantly selling the complete opposite.

A society that believes you’re defined by WHAT you have, not WHO you are.

  • WHAT your body looks like.
  • WHAT “pretty things” you have in your apartment.
  • WHAT kind of phone you have.
  • WHAT amount of money you have in the bank.

It was such a hard moment for me, standing at Target that day. Now I realize it was just validating everything I had been feeling all week long.

You see, Zac had been so stressed the last two months at work. Our whole family felt it. He’s doing the work of 2 people, working late almost every night, and falling behind every day.

On the weekends, I had my fun-loving, free-spirited husband, but right when Monday hits he comes home a completely different person.

I saw it so clearly and by last Tuesday I was ready to give it all up.

“This is not what I want our lives to become, ever,” I said to him. “You’re the breadwinner, working 60 hours a week, stressed out, never seeing your children, needing a drink to relax, and dreading Monday. I REFUSE to live this life. We deserve better than that.”

I explained to him how I was willing to give up all of our stuff for him and the happiness of our family.

I was ready to sell the house, trade in the car, and move somewhere affordable.

I’m not saying it would be easy to give up those things. I adore my beautiful mountain home, my brand new car, and I love living in such a majestic part of the world…

but all that shit isn’t worth sacrificing our happiness. We can absolutely be happy without all those things.

I think he was relieved to hear that. I can only imagine the pressure he feels, being our main income source. He reassured me that it wasn’t necessary. He works for a great company that values him and they’re just in a bind right now. It won’t be like this forever.

I too felt relieved but more proud of us for talking it through and not willing to settle.

I absolutely believe you can have it “all.” Great health, a well-paying job that you love, all the beautiful things, the incredible support system, AND true happiness. BUT don’t misunderstand – happiness doesn’t come from any of those things, it’s an INSIDE job.

I think the Universe was testing me… and I’d like to say I passed 🙂

So as we gear up for the holiday season:

1- Take inventory of what’s important to you.

Not what’s important to your Dad, mother-in-law, or grandparent.

2 – Ask yourself, “How can I make this holiday season reflect that?” and lead from that place.

For me, I won’t be buying Wyatt a ton of gifts. He’ll get a few, but more than anything, I’ll demonstrate to him, what the holidays mean to me. Which is love and connection, so we’ll spend more time with our loved ones having fun, playing and relaxing.

3 – Let go of other people’s opinions.

After I figured this out I sent a text message to all the grandparents about what is and what is not accepted for Christmas gifts (a ridiculous amount was not okay). They scoffed, but they knew I was serious and respected it.

Your Coach,
Nichole

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