I was at my favorite ice cream parlor when a mother, son, and daughter walked in.
While enjoying my ice cream cone, I overheard the mother say, “Why don’t you just have one of these bars?”
I looked over and she was pointing at the freezer to some fat-free sorbet bars.
The 12-year-old girl looked down at the ground and said, “Okay.”
Meanwhile, her brother was shoveling Cookies and Cream ice cream into his mouth.
My stomach dropped as I watched her cheeks turn red with embarrassment…
All I wanted to do was hug her.
I took a deep breath and as a lump formed in my throat, I felt this girl’s pain start to surface in my own body.
Before the tears started streaming down my face, I swallowed the lump in my throat and quickly walked out the door.
I got to my car, and completely lost it.
This brought up so many old memories.
For years of my life, this situation was my reality. Every. Single. Day.
But it wasn’t my mother. It was ME.
I used to talk to myself the same way… But if I’m frank, my version was much more abusive. The words ‘fat’ and ‘ugly’ were always a part of the conversation.
That day at the ice cream parlor touched my heart so profoundly that I had to share it with you today.
Look, I’m not here to blame mothers for our bad body image (though mothers do need to be aware of this).
This is a problem with our society that needs to be fixed.
Her mom wasn’t trying to be malicious or hurtful. She believed she was helping.
She just wanted her daughter to succeed and to be accepted.
And unfortunately, we’re taught in this society that the way we, as women, succeed and gain acceptance is by being thin.
UUUGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!
I don’t know about you but this PISSES. ME. OFF.
Really? The ONLY thing this girl has to offer is her body? That’s what makes her successful, beautiful, and accepted? Are you freaking kidding me?!?
Isn’t she already successful because she lives her life from her heart? Like when she stayed after school to help her friend finish a science project?
Or what about her resilience? Even though she struggles with soccer, she stays late after practice so that she can improve. Doesn’t that make her successful?
Or what if she’s already successful because she’s a good person and THAT alone is beauty in its purest form.
This *has got to change*.
Wouldn’t you agree?
Thought so.
Here’s how to do it — It all STARTS WITH YOU and how YOU treat yourself.
If you want your daughter, niece or granddaug
You have to start embodying the self-love you want to see in the girls of today.
It all starts with you, leading by example and refusing to play the “waiting game.”
Stop waiting for life to slow down so you can find time for yourself.
Stop waiting for an apology from your mother, father, or ex to feel beautiful.
And stop waiting to lose X amount of pounds before you start living your life again.
Waiting is getting you nowhere but stuck and unhappy.
When you keep waiting, you’re only perpetuating this problem.
So how do you start? Well, answer me this.
If you were there at the ice cream parlor with me and had the opportunity to talk to that 12-year-old girl, what would you say?
Finish this sentence:
“To the young girl at the ice cream parlor holding a fat-free bar, I want you to know…”
THEN take your advice and speak to YOUR 12-year-old girl inside who is desperately seeking approval from others. Let your older, wiser self give her a big loving hug.
With so much love,
Nichole
P.S. If you want to take it a step further join the Free ‘My Body Rocks’ Experience and listen to Episode 14 of The Wildly Alive Coaching Podcast. I guarantee it will shift how you feel about your body.